Hopeful and Honest
Since changing to a new blog layout, I have an “About Me” page. Check it out and learn some more about who I am.
Also, the picture at the top of my blog was taken by my father from my favorite place in the world: On the deck of the cabin he built for our family in Tincup, Colorado. Yes, that is just one of the views we are so lucky to have there.
Well, today was my first day at my new Job at a Financial Group. I always have disliked first days of school and jobs. It is always awkward, there are a million new things hitting you at once, and you almost always feel overwhelmed with how your day just went. Needless to say, I am glad I got my first day over with. It was a lot of training and I know I have more to come, but over all it was successful and I think I will enjoy it.
However, today was a big change for me. I had a schedule to follow, places to be, things to do before the clock hit 5 pm. I haven’t worked for 3 months, not by choice, but due to life’s uncertainties. Gone are my days spent with my friends Ellen, Dr. Phil, and Oprah. Here are the days that carry a purpose, have structure, make me more productive, and allow us to pay rent, haha.
The day was good, Matt was great! He picked me up from work and told me I could pick wherever I wanted to go to eat dinner. It was fun, and when we got home he had left a note saying congradulations. I hope more good days follow.
What have I been doing for three months that I could not even update my blog, you may be thinking. Good question. Moving to Seattle was a huge adventure for me. I have never moved out of Colorado. The farthest I had been from my family was a 6 hour car drive to Durango from Evergreen. So when Matt and I decided it would be a great opportunity for him to attend Mars Hill Seminary, the move to Seattle consumed me (you can read previous posts and see it was on my mind a lot). I pictured my new home to be a huge, busy place, full of millions of people. I was scared to death of city life. I did not want to live in the so called concrete jungle, because I had always had mountains, and fresh air. How would I survive. I feel bad for the countless nights I kept Matt awake because I was so upset we were moving.
Flash forward: We found a great little duplex house in Fremont. It is off the busy street, we can park in front of our home, we have a small front yard and a good size backyard. There are trees all around us, and I even spotted a rose bush on the side of the house. I live near I park I can walk to where I can sit, look to the left and see the Olympic Mountain Range, and right in front of me is a lake with sailboats, kayaks, yachts, and propeller planes that take off regularly. If I go in the evening, I can watch the sunset, see the moon rise, and watch the lights in downtown Seattle turn on right in front of me. I enjoy this park, it has offered a sense of peace and belonging.
So, as I explore the city, I learn so much about how cool Seattle really is. There are not only huge Mountain ranges that I was so afraid I would miss, but a vast amount of water. It is a unique combination of scenery that I did not imagine. It is so pretty. Matt’s parents visited and took us on a sailing trip out in the bay and to be able to see where I live from the water was even better. It was a great treat. 
Is moving to city life all that I feared it to be? In some ways yes, in some ways no. I am enjoying it so far, and some of my fears have been wiped away. I miss my family and friends a lot, but I have a sense that they to will come to find Seattle an OK city to live in.
Wow! I know, I know. It has been a long time since I have updated. A lot has changed in my life since June when there were only twenty days until I was to be married. Yes, a lot of change. I hope to recount all this change in the next few blogs to help you get up to date with me and see what happens to me in the future. For now I will give you a quick rundown.
I married Matt in the best and most fun ceremony of our lives. We will never forget the memories we have with all of our friends and family in one place.
We had a great honeymoon in San Diego, ate at fancy great restaurants (for probably the last time in 3 years!), went to the zoo, toured Catalina island on foot, and relaxed.
Matt and I packed up our life as we knew it in Durango, Colorado, said goodbye to our friends and drove to Seattle, Washington.
After twenty-two hours in the car, a week at my cousins, we found a cute little one bedroom house just North of Seattle in a neighborhood called Fremont.
We sold or got rid of everything in Durango, so we went shopping for everything new. After many trips to Target, Bed Bath and Beyond, and most importantly IKEA we have a house full of great new stuff to start a home together.
Matt looked and found a job quick. I, however, looked and looked, interviewed and interviewed, felt horrible and rejected, and finally after two and a half months found a job. I start Tuesday at a banking institution.
Matt started grad school, I started to figure out how to entertain myself without the company of friends or my spouse. I thank God that our dog, Basil, is still around because without her I truly think I would have gone crazy here.
To end: moving to Seattle, while it has been a challenge to me, has caused self-doubt and struggle, will turn out to be one of the best things to happen to myself, Matt, and us as a couple. I can’t wait to share more of my experiences of our move here, and what is next to come in my life.
Lately I have been feeling really down about a lot of things. It always seems that everything happens all at once, and boy for me it really has. It hit me very hard that being an adult can be hard sometimes. I have enjoyed making my own decisions, really taking charge of my future, but lately all the responsibilities have been overwhelming. It has been bill after bill, job after job, and more things to deal with than I like to think about. I am in the process of moving out of my house, which is both exciting and really sad. I am having a moving sale Saturday and as I try and pack up my house it has made me very emotional. I am selling virtually everything I have grown up with and lived with (furniture wise). I know that all of my items are all material, but there are a lot of memories attached to my things. It will be hard to sell it all, but I am also very excited to start a new life with Matt in Seattle. I am trying to be positive about things, but sometimes it is all so much to handle.
On a lighter note… Our dog Basil had some good news that her leg is almost all healed up, which means no more cast and no more vet bills (I pray!!).
My 96 year old great Grandfather has always, and will always be someone I greatly admire. Every project I did in high school about my personal hero was always about him. He is the most amazing, yet stuborn man I know. I love him with all my heart and am so glad he is still in my life today. From my earliest memories, he told me many stories from his life. His many jobs in mining, owning a restuarant, gambling his restaurant away, the love for his wives (his first wife died of cancer, and he remarried years later), and his time in the Navy. I credit him for my interest in History, and consequently my career path in teaching History. When Matt asked me to marry him my parents and I immediately knew we had to ask him to walk me down the aisle with my father. It would mean so much to me and our entire family to have four generations represented at our ceremony. When we asked him he started to cry, he said he would be there no matter what.
In September, his wife (she was as close to a great grandmother as she could be) passed away, leaving him lonely and sad. It was a very hard time for our family, he had to move out of the house he had lived in for 35 years into a small assited living apartment. My whole family tries to have someone visit him every week, but he recently got very sick and had to move into a nursing home. This was the ultimate worst for him. He flat out refused to go, but he had to. The doctors told my family he would need to be put in Hospice, they thought he was going to die. It was a horrible time for all of us. The people in the nursing home told us all he talked about was the wedding he was to be in. Like I said before, he is so stubborn, he refused to be labeled as dying, and miracously he got better little by little. The doctors said he wouldn’t ever make it out of the nursing home, but he HATED IT there. Well what did he do, he kept getting better and this past weekend I went up to visit him and help him move back into his apt. He isn’t 100%, but he looks great for 96 years, he now walks with a walker, but that is better than lying in Hospice. I love him very much and greatly admire his strength to make it out of the nursing home. When I asked him how it felt to be back home, he told me it felt great and that he was going to start some exercises soon. 
I asked him why did he want to exercise, and he said, “by God Kelli, I have a wedding to go to in July, and I am going to walk you down that aisle!”
Matt bought a mobile home less than a year ago in Durango. It was a great deal, and saved him money on rent for the time being. However, now as we are gearing up to move to Seattle we are trying to sell his place. It has been one of the most fustrating experiences so far for us. We cleaned it all up, moved out all of things he is going to take to Seattle, had to take out a fence, mow, and all these other little things. We placed an ad in the classified and thought it would probably sell really fast. Well, it hasn't, it has just been one thing after the other with trying to sell it. The land owners want the next person who wants to buy it to repaint it, build new decks, and re-skirt it. So we had to lower our price. Both of us have prayed for hours for guidance on what to do, hoping that it will sell. I believe that it is a test of our faith. We are not trying to screw someone out of a lot of money at all, but rather we are just hoping to make a little money to take to Seattle when we move. Maybe I am to learn patience through all this and that God does have some kind of plan behind our troubles, but sometimes it would be nice to know, haha. Honestly though, we hope that we can sell it, and that someone will have a home to live in for cheaper rent in Durango, just as Matt did for awhile. I will keep you updated, pray that we can sell it!!
One of Matt's favorite sayings is "Live Fully". I occasionally give the saying some thought and try to assess how fully I am truely living my life. However, today after teaching my students I sat down to start planning for the next week and was overwhelmed by how great I felt. I had taken my students outside to get some sun and attempt to curb some of their Spring Fever. We all played games that were related to the Middle Ages Social Class system of Feudalism. It was so fun for me to watch my students be creative (while also trying to have fun) in coming up for reasons why their game of tag or four-square can relate to the days lesson. I ended up playing with the kids, running all around, tagging kids, and throwing the ball in foursquare. As I sat down to start planning, I noticed how great I felt. I had been outdoors, created a fun, interactive lesson, and both the students and myself enjoyed it. I truely felt as if in that moment I was fully alive! I was overwhelmed with this feeling, it made me crave more. So with that, I hope that as the summer weather is fast approaching I can continue to do things that make me live fully. I want to enjoy the last few months I have in this wonderful place, and take with me memories to only try and improve on to Seattle. Hopefully I will share more of these moments with you all as my journey to try and live fully continues!
Yesterday I decided it was time to tell my school that I would not be coming back next year. It was very hard, and sad to do, because I have enjoyed this job so much. I then started to look for new teaching jobs out in Seattle. It got me a little down as I found the Social Studies jobs are kinda few and far between. I hope to someday get a Masters in Special Education, but for now I am limited to Social Studies, which I love a lot too. However, I am just nervous that I will not find a job. It is such a hard thing to think about.
In honor of Good Friday…
When I first made the decision to try and follow Jesus there was one powerful scene that brought up many emotions for me. It was the scene when Jesus is hung on the cross next to the criminals and first of all says "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." The amount of forgiveness Jesus showed at this painful point amazed me and overwhelmed my thoughts. In the midst of this horror he offered forgiveness and honesty. However, the second scene that had an impact me is when one of the criminals asks Jesus to remember him and Jesus states, "I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise." I love the vision Jesus gives to the theif and those words continuely played over and over in my head during my struggle with my decision to give away my life so that I could become one who believes. It is a beautiful image for me.
